Resolutions to Live By

Getting the new year off to a good start

Sigh. It's a little depressing to think about the last 12 months and realize just how quickly the year came and went. Not only are there countless unfinished projects I meant to tackle, but more importantly my son turns TWO and my daughter will start kindergarten in a matter of months!

Rather than dwelling on the undone and inevitable, I decided I would try to look forward to the months ahead and jump -- with two feet-- right into 2006.

The past few years, I have had my own spin on the tradition of writing New Year's resolutions and made a list meant to motivate me to work on my own writing projects. The reality is, as a stay-at-home mom I do a lot more parenting, sometimes even housework, than writing and what little "extra" time I have is parceled out to pastimes other than working on the next great American novel.

So this year, I am doing away with my writing resolutions and turning back to something more tried and true. My New Year's resolutions are...

• In 2006, I plan to spend more time with my children whether it's one-on-one with Barcelona and Berkeley or getting down on the floor and playing pretend with them both. They are growing so fast and too soon hanging out with mom will no longer be their favorite thing.

• I also want to take more photographs of my children. I carry a small digital camera in my purse and do take tons of pictures without thinking about it. This year, though, I want to focus on capturing their essence on film. I have read some parents do a "photo shoot" once a month to document their ever-changing children and while this seems somewhat ambitious it is worth shooting for, so to speak.

• Sitting on one of our bookshelves are two spiral-bound copies of "The Mommy Journal: Letters To Your Child (Andrews McMeel Publishing; September 2, 2002)". I have spelled out one of my children's names in stickers on each of them. I am a huge fan of journaling and even teach classes on the topic from time to time. As with most things, however, it is not always easy to practice what I preach and I have not been very diligent about keeping these missives updated. I used to write in them once a week and want to get back in the habit this year so I can recall and share with them my children's accomplishments as they grow.

• In 2005, my husband and I spent part of the summer participating in a "10 Great Dates" workshop offered to couples as part of the Sacramento Healthy Marriage Project. How refreshing it was to go on dates for 10 consecutive weeks. This time spent together truly helped enhance our relationship as a couple. I know we both feel it is important to model a healthy marriage for our children, so I want to make sure our relationship continues to have the highest priority and that we keep "dating" each other this year.

• Having a happy life, is all about finding balance between what we need to do, what we should do and what we want to do. Each day, I seek to achieve Zen-like harmony in my life.

• For the stay-at-home mom in me, I find the friendships and fellowship from mother's groups to be priceless. MOMS Club, Mothers of Preschoolers, SacramentoMommas.Com and my neighborhood babysitting co-op have helped me get to know my neighbor moms better. I will continue to seek out the company of other women, a network I could not live without.

• I grew up going to church and to this day appreciate the fact I spent much of my preteen and teen years hanging out with youth groups and not at the neighborhood bowling alley. This past year, we attended Saint Francis of Assisi Parish more often than not. For me, having a church home helps me stay spiritually healthy. Attending Mass weekly this year will ground me for any challenges I may face the days in between services.

• In 2005, I started writing this column for Inside the City and I plan to keep it up! I have fun penning pieces about my mommy adventures and I enjoy being able to meld my stay-at-home mom job with the remains of what used to be a full-time writing career. This year I still will selectively accept assignments so that I am writing regularly, if not working on that ever elusive novel.

I wanted to resolve not to get too carried away planning my children's birthday parties, but I know I would and expect to enjoy doing so. I wanted to resolve to stay on my exercise and diet plan, but I know that is a surefire way to not to and instead will try to be happy exercising and eating well -- much of the time. I also did not want worry what other people think of me, gossip or eat too much chocolate, but I figure I should save something to give up for next year, right?

Happy New Year!

Mommy Time Column ~ January 2006