I Just Wanna Know Why

My children were born nearly three years apart. My daughter is just older enough to mother (translation: boss) her little brother around. My son is just younger enough… Let’s face it, he’s a rascal!

Sometimes it’s difficult to remember the different stages of development with this age gap. You know, like the inquisitive stage, where youngsters constantly ask the question “why?” My nearly 6-year-old son currently fits comfortably in this category.

Each day we start off with a new slate and a new slew of questions, some hurled one after another at me like the constant fire of a machine gun. So fast, in fact, it’s nearly impossible to keep up and I simply stagger under the barrage.

Why is there frost on the grass? Why is sissy crying? Why do I have to wear a seat belt? As the day wears on, my patience tends to wear out. Why? Why? WHY?

“BECAUSE I SAID SO!” I say, grimacing under the weight of this oft-used, time-worn parental response to another of my son’s innocent inquiries.

I feel worse when my little cutie pie adds with widened eyes, “But, I just wanna know why, mommy.”

Ask me again tomorrow, son, ask me again tomorrow. 

written for http://blog.sacramentoparent.com

We Are Santa's Elves

Nothing like a major holiday to add one more thing to the parenting plate!

Already we are moms or dads, chauffeurs, chefs, economists, stylists and personal assistants. Bless those single parents who juggle dual roles as mother and father.

Sure there’s the stress of shopping and cooking, but holidays such as Christmas take our parental duties to the next level - one filled with imagination and magic!

My third-grade daughter asked the other day whether Santa Claus was real. The stock answer my husband and I give to inquiries such as these is: “If you believe it, it’s real.” But when your child tells you all her classmates think the bearded one is a fake, you have to work a little harder.

We have tried to make holidays and losing one’s teeth special ever since our kids have been old enough to appreciate morning surprises such as full stockings, overflowing baskets and a shiny new coin. We eat the cookies and drink the milk, put green food coloring in the toilet (those naughty leprechauns!), toss a trail of plastic grass and sprinkle fairy dust. This is the fun part of being a parent!

Each year it seems my husband and I have done something different to step it up. One Christmas morning, our daughter woke up to colorful lights adorning her vanity mirror. Another year, our kids found dozens of stuffed animals circled around the tree. And now they look forward to decorating the tiny trees they found in their room upon waking one holiday morning.

I was delighted when I ran into my friend Viv at the neighborhood grocery store, who told me about and later forwarded me the link to this free website portablenorthpole.tv/home. Parents simply send a photo and some information to the site and, in turn, get a very realistic and personalized message to their child directly from Santa. The results are amazing and we can’t wait to try it for ourselves!

Ho ho ho.
Ho ho ho.
We are Santa’s elves. 

written for http://blog.sacramentoparent.com 

A Little Perspective

“…you know what I’m craving? A little perspective. That’s it. I’d like some fresh, clear, well seasoned perspective.”

-RATATOUILLE (2007)

Some people quote literature, others classic films, but me? I like to quote animated Disney movies meant for children.

This past week I caught myself referring to the movie RATATOUILLE on three separate occasions, specifically the line: “A little perspective.”

As people, parents and partners, we often get wrapped up in the little dramas of everyday life. Criticizing others and the world around us comes too easy. C’mon, who hasn’t had a word or two to say about Tiger Woods?

We could all use a little perspective.

In recent years the winter months have kind of been a struggle for me. I like to blame it on seasonal affective disorder, a type of depression caused by darker days and not enough sunshine. But, honestly, sometimes life can just get overwhelming what with holiday preparations and everything else that gets tossed our way.

This year, I gave myself an early gift. I got myself some perspective.

A child almost dies, a couple divorces and a friend balances close to losing their home to foreclosure. Nothing like putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, to gain some “perspective.”

So fond of this newfound perspective, I find myself sharing the concept with others (hence the referrals to RATATOUILLE). Times are tough for many, for so many different reasons, do we really want to dwell on the negative?

Today, I am thankful for my beautiful children, my supportive husband and the roof over my head. These blessings are so much more important than all the other things that swirl around us and distract us on a daily basis.

I choose to have perspective.

written for http://blog.sacramentoparent.com

What Was Your Favorite Part Of Today?

The other night I crawled into my daughter’s bed, put my arm around her and did something I haven’t done in awhile. A little something that had been part of our bedtime routine for years until my ailing father came to live with us and displaced my daughter from her own Tinkerbell room to share one with her younger brother.

“What was your favorite part of today?” I whispered into the dark.

“Seeing Calista,” she answered with a smile in her voice. “And ‘Mr. Fox’.”

We held each other close as together we listed our favorite daughter, favorite mommy, favorite brother, and favorite daddy. This is something we used to do every night when I put Barcelona to bed, when her younger brother still slept in her old crib. A routine set aside when my parenting role unexpectedly extended to caring for my daughter’s grandfather.

Things do not come easy for my little girl. She walked late, talked late, and now struggles with school work. In the past, asking my daughter her favorite part of the day became a touchstone for both of us, a single moment each day when everything else fell away and we reveled in what brought us joy.

Earlier in the day, someone made my daughter cry. Don’t get me wrong, the kid is no stranger to tears. A sharp word, a troublesome brother, a playmate at school, and math homework have made my daughter cry and likely will again. But today it was an adult, someone I would expect to be a friend to children and, more importantly, to mine.

When I turned off my daughter’s light that night and crawled into her bed, I took a chance asking about the day. (More recently she has tended to dwell on the negative.) It crossed my mind that perhaps, by not asking her “favorite part” of the day these past months, I have not allowed my daughter to erase those things, both challenging and hurtful, from her mind.

So we rediscovered our touchstone together, a moment in time to share what makes us happy and to open the door to sweet dreams.

written for http://blog.sacramentoparent.com