Thanks Giving

A mother's list of blessings is long

Holiday season is upon us. This is the time to break out family traditions, dust them off and put them into practice.

There were some lean times growing up in a single-parent household yet there were always things to be grateful for. One Thanksgiving my mother decided the two of us should put our blessings down in writing. When we shared our lists with each other, we were reminded the fortunes of our little family, even in the toughest of times.

Blessings lists became a Thanksgiving tradition: Some were scribbled sitting side-by-side on lined pages torn from spiral notebooks while others were sent thousands of miles cross country via e-mail. My mother saved our lists over the years and at one point made photocopies for me. From time to time, I have read them and reflected on the path my life has taken.

The Thanksgiving blessings lists are like mini time capsules. They often refer to historic events such as the Loma Prieta earthquake in 1989 and September 11th as well as major life changes in jobs and relationships. Some blessings, such as having a home and good friends, find their way on the list year after year.

My husband and I have tried to make time to write Thanksgiving lists together. We have not always succeeded, but I plan to try again this year with our children. I want this to become one of our family's annual traditions -- something we all do together.

As a writer who is also a stay-at-home mom, most of my world revolves around the goings-on of my two youngsters. While my toddler and preschooler can be the source of some life's more challenging moments, they are also responsible for many of the most blessed.

I consider Barcelona and Berkeley precious graces. Like manna from Heaven their presence in my life feeds my soul and I dedicate this special list entirely to them. Here are a few of the things these two bring to my life, for which I am most grateful:

• Kisses. It fills my heart to overflowing when my 4-year-old daughter requests "nose kisses" and my young son leans his head toward me when I ask for a smooch. I will never tire of kissing these two cherubs.

• Baths. During a recent hotel stay, I watched my children entertain each other with two plastic cups and lukewarm water. I realized they don't just like the water, but how much they enjoy playing together and with me. I plan to join in more often.

• Siblings. If my children are apart for any length of time, they start asking for their "sissy" or their "baby brother". My two little ones cuddle in bed together, snuggle while watching TV and hold hands willingly. I hope they always love each other as much as they do now.

• Nighttime. My favorite part of day's end is when I peek into my children's bedrooms before going to sleep myself. Watching them in repose, I imagine I can see them growing and resist the urge to wake them and prolong their childhood. I am humbled by their innocence and their very existence.

• Giggles. Barcelona and Berkeley both have unique little laughs. I delight in making them chuckle and adore when they crack each other up. I will try to laugh more with them.

• Dancing. My kids love music and are not shy about showing it. I love it when they bust out in dance moves and grab my hand to pull me away from a household task so I will join them. I promise to take time to dance with them.

• Love. Today my daughter looked at me and said, "Mommy, you are my best friend" and I am guessing some of my son's baby talk babbles would translate into something similar. My children's love for me is unconditional and I endeavor to deserve it.

This Thanksgiving our family's list of blessings should prove sizable. But each morning, when I see my children's faces, I am reminded they are gifts from God and I should thank Him everyday for my riches -- not just once a year.

Mommy Time Column ~ November 2005